Friday, October 29, 2004

The World Is a Stage

It's funny what can bring back a reverie. For Marcel Proust it was a cookie (prompting the terrible joke "When is a madeline not a cookie?"). For others it's a song on the radio, heard again for the first time in many years. For me, I found it was a theatre review in the New York Times.

Ben Brantley's review of the current revival of "12 Angry Men" (TAM) in today's issue of the Times was suprisingly evocative. Not because the review was so wonderful--he gave the play a pretty good review and the writing was up to his usual standard. It was more the very subject, the play "12 Angry Men" itself. See, when I was a junior in high school I was in our production of "12 Angry Women". Why the change in title? I went to an Orthodox Jewish High School, where the girls' school was over a mile away from the boys' school. If ever the twain did meet, it would mean the end of the world. So our plays had to be either 100% female role, or we women played men, as I did on 2 occasions. Our director found a version of TAM rewritten for 12 women and got the play OK'd by the administration. The same administration had, a week prior, nixed a production of "Steel Magnolias" under the assertion that it was too crass for young Jewish ladies to perform. Sucks, because I was all set to play the Shirley McClaine character, Ouiza.

The play itself was alright. Some of the casting was highly suspicious since these girls couldn't act their way out of a paper bag, to quote the director. But I suppose he had to choose from the pool who auditioned. By Junior year, I had been every production my school had put on, and I was a bit of a shoe-in. However, it's always a battle for one of the leads and I landed Juror #3, the main antagonist who gets to have a lovely breakdown at the end of the play after all her hopes and dreams are shattered by the idealistic Juror #12 (actually I don't remember which number the protagonist is, so 12 is really arbitrary). My director decided that my character should be doing something with her hands at all times and so I had to learn to knit. Since I have the hand eye coordination of a llama, I ended up creating a giant woolen knot by the end of rehearsals. My mother never forgave me for ruining the sweater that woolen knot started out as.

But more than reminding me of my performance in a middling high school play, it reminded me of how much I used to love to act. Till I and my expectations grew up, I had wanted to act for a living. I never wanted to be a movie star or any type of celebrity, but a theatre actor famous to a select and elite few. I wanted to play the Shakespeare greats and even dabble in musical theatre. To do all of this, I realize that it takes talent. Real talent. Not the sort of talent it takes to get the lead in a high school play. And who knows? Maybe I had that talent at one point. But I'm sitting here remembering that when I acted nothing else matters, even having no talent. It was just me, the other actors, and that invisible fourth wall. I've had roles where I had to address the audience, breaking the 4th wall. There was something magical about sharing those moments with a crowd of hidden faces, lost in a sea of blackness.
Maybe I got some sort of validation from acting that I can't get from real life. Maybe I really am just a drama queen and I crave the attention. It's probably bits of that tied in to the fact that it was just a wonderful thing, being able to create these other characters in other worlds. I could be anyone and do anything and yet still be myself. Sometimes, the audience was tertiary. If they weren't there I'd still be able to be those people and experience those emotions...doing it in front of an audience just made me seem a bit less like a crazy nut talking to myself.

Even all these years later I still miss the adrenaline rush and those few seconds before the curtain rises and your heart is literally in your throat. And I miss those few second right after the curtain has dropped for the final time on the last night of the show and you can finally stop worrying about forgetting that last line in Act One or when to interrupt someone's monologue and just be satisfied that you put yourself out there and did it. Nothing I've done in my life since has been able to give me the same feeling and I know that at least I was lucky enough to have been there a few times and taken those final bows.

Thursday, October 28, 2004

Working with 'Tards

When I think about my work environment, I am constantly reminded of those people who dedicate their lives to working with the specially abled. The difference is that a) I get no satisfaction out of helping the specially abled and b) the people I work with are not legally mentally disabled, they just play one in everyday life.

None of this is news to anyone who knows me. I have made it a hobby to complain about one's coworkers. One of them is an ADD'd sugar freak who spends most of the day with his hand down the back of his pants massaging his ass and praising Bush. Another is an 18 year old who listens to Pink Floyd over and over again like a stoned hippie and cannot seem to find motivation to do his job beyond the very bare minimum. There is 31 year old sales guy whose main vocal tone is that of "complaint"; he routinely backstabs his coworkers and yet, cannot understand why no one wants to help him. The coup de grace is the 39 year old failed rocker who wholeheartedly believes in aliens and has unwavering faith that Bush and his administration are more evil than Hitler. Overall, it's a just wonderful crowd.

I find myself putting my head in my hands and quietly moaning to myself several times a day. Surrounding by such brilliant incompetancy, I am waiting for their witlessness to catch. I question my sanity on a daily basis--and it wasn't all that stable before I started working here. Is it normal to hear that your coworker is eager to attend a UFO conference, fully believing that he will get the proof he needs to show other people that he has indeed been abducted by aliens? Do other people work in offices where their coworkers chase each other like five year old, yelling and screaming like they're on fire? Are there other people who regularly feel as though they are overseeing a kindergarten instead of a business? How many people work with someone who wore the same pair of shorts everyday for 2 months straight?

All of this and a multitude of other idiocies make my brain hurt on a regular basis. But more than anything else, I worry that one day I will cease to find these occurrences odd and unusual.

When that day comes, I hope I have the wherewithall to quietly bang my head against the wall till the pain is officially gone.

The Office has nothing on me.

Tough Choice: Douche or Turd Sandwich

Last night, continuing on a theme that they have been publicly supporting for a while, Matt and Trey began the newest season of South Park with an episode that says it's OK not to vote.

Well, that's being a bit simplistic. Rather, they are commenting on the people who act as though you have no choice but to vote and if you don't you are a social pariah who, quite possibly, should be shot dead by Puff Daddy. By the by, any movement entitled "Vote or Die" deserves a thorough beating and Matt and Trey are probably the best to administer said beating.

After PETA has repeatedly terrorized the South Park Elementary School for using a cow as their mascot, the school holds elections for a new mascot. Fed up with the choices offered by the administration, Kyle decides that everyone should do a write in vote for "giant douche". Of course Cartman believe he has a funnier candidate and counters with a write in vote for "turd sandwich". A battle of the inappropriate mascots ensues. Cartman and his newly-befriended Butters go door to door and offer voters butterscotch candies to vote for Turd Sandwich. Kyle and Kenny also lobby extensively.

However, once it comes time to vote Stan can't bring himself to vote for either mascot, because who really wants to choose between a turd and douche. Puff Daddy and his posse come to assassinate him, forcing him to make a decision. As he is about to cast his vote for Turd Sandwich, Kyle becomes apoplectic and tells him that of course he should vote, but he should vote for the right team, i.e., Giant Douche. Refusing to continue with this charade, he affirms his desire not to vote. The town exiles him and he is forced to move into the PETA compound.

It is here that the episode becomes distinctly South Park-ian. The show has been around for 8 seasons and there has never really been a good mocking of PETA. PETA, or "eco-terrorists" as they are referred to, are a bunch of hypocritical animal-lovers whose assertion that "animals are people too" is faulty beyond comprehension. In the South Park version of PETA's secret compound, the members are truly animal lovers--marrying them and even creating unholy, abominations-of-nature, offspring. Their wise leader is a goat who spends his day eating and surrounded by his own feces. Of course once Puffy figures out that Stan is holed up there, the great PETA massacre ensues. There is a moment of pure justice when a PETA member is shot trying to shield a dog from the bullets; he is shot dead and the dog he saw fit to give up his life for, sniffs him and urinates on his head. Like I said, justice.

In the end, Stan realizes that your choice is always going to be a turd and douche, just the players change, and you just have to suck it up. He votes...for turd sandwich. When giant douche wins by a landslide, Stan inevitably feels as though his vote didn't count. And when everyone discovers that all the PETA members were killed and they can go back to the cow mascot, Stan discovers his vote really didn't count.

There has been a lot of theorizing as to who was the douche and who was the turd sandwich. From the "debate" between the two candidates it would seem Kerry is the douche and Bush is the turd sandwich, but one of the lessons of the show is that it really doesn't matter. While there are distinct differences between the 2 candidates, neither one is someone a lot of us will feel happy and proud to vote for. Just as in 2000, and many other elections before that one, it comes down to a choice between the lesser of two evils. And if you really don't want to make that choice, you shouldn't have to. YES a lot of people fought and died so that we could all vote and make our voices heard. YES voting is an essential component of democracy. However, it is a right and it is also our right not to vote. We are given the choice to vote or not to vote--it is not an imperative from on high. If someone feels ill-informed or just can't bring themselves to vote for either candidate or even if someone just doesn't feel like voting at all, that's OK. Why force or even scare these people into voting when their vote would end up being a total crap-shoot. Our society would be better served if these people voiced their opinions by not voicing their opinions and exercising their right not to vote.

Neither I nor probably Matt and Trey believe that voting is inconsequential. It is a vital part of the public's involvement with the government and one of the ways that the average citizen can make their opinions matter. Getting out the vote and getting people more involved with politics is both admirable and laudable. But anyone who feels that not voting is equivalent to committing domestic terrorism, well they are just both a turd sandwich and a giant douche.

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Odd Weather for Llama

Both last week and last night, LA was on the verge of being swept into the Pacific. Crazy, heavy storms were hitting the area and at times I thought the only thing keeping my house from being overcome by the deluge was sheer force of will.

The good thing about this is that the air has been crisp and clean and cold. Along with a lot of the local dirt, all the smog has been washed out to sea. The sky is a bright bright blue, occasionally peeking out from behind dark purple and grey cloud formations. Dotting the sky here and there are bunches of startlingly white clouds, all the brighter against the rest of the sky. It's just so darned pretty.

On a day like today, all you can do is sit indoors and read something good or watch a movie that's actually worth watching. Of course I'm at work, but mentally I'm on my couch finishing "The Corrections" or rewatching "Casablanca".

Of course you can also just find things with which to entertain yourself, such as this.

(The management acknowledges that not everyone will find it funny.)

J-Lo: Talent's Vacuum

Though her performance in Steven Soderburgh's "Out of Sight" was nuanced and surprisingly good, everything that Jennifer Lopez has done since has been, well, crap. "The Wedding Planner", "Gigli", and my personal favorite offense of hers where she dragged down poor Ralph Fiennes, "Maid in Manhattan" are all testaments to her staggering lack of stage presence and ability. Her most recent foray into cinematic footnotes is her performance in "Shall We Dance", an unnecessary remake of a Japanese movie of the same title.

The Japanese version of "Shall We Dance" dealt with a man's struggle against the strictly enforced societal norms of Japanese life and his slowly growing happiness as he took up ballroom dancing. He is originally drawn into the dance hall after repeatedly seeing a mysterious and sad looking woman staring out of the school's windows as he rides the train home every night. The movie never becomes about a romantic relationship between the two, more a meeting of 2 lost souls who find comfort and strength in each other. The man stays with his wife and the woman goes on to fulfill her dancing destiny, each enriched by having met the other.

The American version of "Shall We Dance" tries to reach for all the quiet and gentle moments of the original, but ends up being loud and obvious. Richard Gere is serviceable as John Clark, a Chicago estate attorney who spends his life making up wills for other people and is slowly realizing at the end of the day his life needs something else. His wife played by Susan Sarandon seems to be more a character than the wife in the Japanese film, and overall she plays this 2 dimensional character as best she can. Night after night Clark rides the L home and passes by Miss Mitzi's Dance School and sees Jennifer Lopez, who stares blankly out the large picture windows of the school. One night he decides to go and do something about this far away woman and ends up enrolling in ballroom dance class.

Jennifer Lopez plays Paulina, a former dance competitor who harbors a secret that keeps her distant and separate. Lopez decides to play this sense of mystery as speaking quietly and pronouncing every syllable very distinctly. Her deep dark secret ends up being anti-climactic and she comes across as a bit of a diva in retrospect. However, there is one moment that redeems her slightly. In an effort to help him train for the big dance contest, Paulina stays after class one night and dances with Clark. This is the only point in the movie where J-Lo, keeping her trap shut, embodies who her character is aching to be. She is a trained dancer and Gere, who acquitted himself well in "Chicago", seems secure on his feet as well. It is less romantic than life affirming and remains the only real moment in the movie that struck a chord.

Overall, the dancing montages as Clark and his fellow dance students stop tripping over their own feet and become graceful, are usually amusing and occasionally touching. However, the cliches the movie embraces tinge the final product with some increasingly cringe-worthy moments. For example, the stereotypical homophobe who, in actuality, is gay has been overdone to the point of madness. Though the end of the film is less cliched than in the 90 minutes or so that came before, it still lacked the emotional punch of the original. A man finding himself for himself, than a man finding himself for his marriage seemed to be a much more interesting journey. You can be happy that a solid marriage remains solid, but self discovery is always more revelatory and exciting.


Sunday, October 24, 2004

My Week of Flu and Civic Duty

Ok, let me start by stating that I probably didn't have the flu. I probably just had a really really bad cold that made want to die...but since I just associate that feeling with the flu, I'm going to call it the flu whether or not I'm right.

Last Saturday night, as I rewatched "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind", I started feeling icky. The sort of icky that means coughing, sneezing, congestion and an inability to breathe. By Sunday morning I was in full-blown flu mode. Monday I went into work for an hour before deciding that the world would make much more sense if I could be horizontal and under many many blankets. The day was spent thusly, with a heavy dose of the Food Network.

Note: when you are sick and can't really concentrate on anything but can't sleep either, I highly recommend watching the Food Network. You don't really have to keep your eyes focused as they describe everything to you and if you fall asleep mid-show, there's not need for closure of any story lines. Worst show to watch is the Law and Order marathons they have nightly on USA and TNT. You fall asleep in the middle of one episode and wake up during the trial portion of another, wondering who these characters are and when did Chris Noth suddenly get back on the show. Not a good idea.

Tuesday I had to report in for Jury Duty. At Traffic Court. In downtown LA, which is mostly a vast and desolate wasteland. The bus driver told me to get off the bus too early and I found myself walking swiftly for 45 minutes trying to get to the courthouse so I could report in on time. Of course I got there 45 minutes late, sweating and ready to lie down on the dirty jury room floor...only to find out that there had been a computer glitch and I really didn't need to be there till Thursday. Dragging home my poor phlegm riddled body, complete with giant blisters from the brisk walk I had just completed, I momentarily debated going into work, but common sense prevailed and I spent another date in semi-consciousness watching Rachel Ray make quick and easy 30 minute meals.

I managed to pull a half day at work on Wednesday, but after almost falling asleep twice at my desk, I figured that I could do more good far far away from the office. I got home only to find that I had left my keys in my bedroom and had no way of getting into the house. After an hour sitting in Barnes and Noble, trying to think through the haze in my mind, I decided to go visit my mom at work and steal her keys. This took another hour or so. Finally I managed to ensconce myself on the couch and passed out to my millionth viewing of "Emma" with hot hot Jeremy Northam.

Thursday I had report for Jury Duty yet again. This time it was for real and the day was spent making other jurors move away from me as I coughed and hacked my way into their hearts and reading more than half of Jonathan Franzen's book, "The Corrections" (a faboo read, btw). At 3:45 they dismissed us, having called up only 5 people to serve for the day. The rest of us shuffled off to our respective homes and once again, I whiled away the afternoon half hearing Paula Deen make a slew of dishes with mayonnaise, butter, and lard. Delish.

Friday I actually worked a full day--though I did have to drop of MY keys at my mom's office, since she never took hers back and she herself was in danger of being locked out of the house.

None of this is particularly interesting, but it was one of the more useless weeks I've spent in a long time.
Of course I have done my civic duty and will not have to worry about jury duty for another year, but it would have been sort of cool to go to trial. Death sentences all around!

Friday, October 22, 2004

Verbal Masturbation

It has occurred to me that keeping this blog is a bit of verbal masturbation.

I don't write it because I know that there are loads of people who are eager to read the droplets of wisdom and wit that I occasionally spew. Nor do I write because I feel that it is important to make oneself heard in this world.

I keep this blog simply for the sheer pleasure of writing.

Not to say that my writing is pleasurable for anyone else, I am a bit too realistic to believe that. But it's just a matter of personal pleasure; putting the scattered thoughts and ideas that pop into my head into actual words can be as much fun as watching a really good TV show. And for me that is saying quite a bit. Even if I feel that what I'm putting out there isn't particularly coherent or groundbreaking, it is a satisfying experience because in the end those words, flawed and jumbled are wholly and utterly mine.

I've always thought that writers on a whole are a very selfish bunch. They will share their work with others, but in the end it's usually for themselves. If you write for someone else, it will only take you so far. It has to be that internal push, that personal desire in order for it to really work. Granted, this is not universally true and possibly not remotely true, it's more a theory I have that I tend to believe for no great and factual reason. And while I'm not a writer writer - more a writer in theoretical training - I recognize this selfishness in myself and have to come to understand that that selfishness is the only thing that keeps me writing sometimes.

I've written for an audience before and it's even been good. I've written commissioned movie reviews and book reviews and it was sorta nice knowing that what I've churned out would be read by at least a few random readers. But keeping this blog and writing whatever strikes my fancy has produced some of my better writing, infrequent as those well turned phrases are. So a hearty thanks to a friend of mine who essentially shamed me into keeping this blog up to date. Even if you no longer read it, you still did me a favor. Hope someday I can shame you into doing something that's good for you.

Thursday, October 21, 2004

I Love Egg

This is easily one of the creepiest things I've ever seen.

I'm not sure what freaks me out about it exactly; maybe cuz the eggs are singing about how yummy they are to eat or maybe it's that the eggs are singing to each other like they are long lost lovers or something like that.

Either way, it's just freaking odd.

Also, who knew eggs were so musically gifted?

Sunday, October 17, 2004

America, Fuck Yeah!

It's hard to think about "Team America: World Police", the new movie by South Park creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker without the constant image of puppet sex. But then again, that might be part of their plan...

A movie that mercilessly mocks the liberal Hollywood left, "Team America" is actually less a political satire than a send up of every Jerry Bruckheimer/Michael Bay movie ever made. When the main love song contains lyrics such as "I miss you as much as Michael Bay missed the mark when he made Pearl Harbor....that movie really sucked", you know you are witnessing something special.

The plot is slightly more ridiculous than the movie's theme song, "America, Fuck Yeah!". The movie focuses on an elaborate plot involving Alec Baldwin and other famous outspoken actors, the usual smattering of ethnic terrorists and the grand marshall of it all Kim Jong Il. Mr. Il, as he is referred to, has some grandiose plans to destroy the world and bring humanity to its knees - but still finds time to sing a torch song entitled "I'm so lonely" (though since it's Matt and Trey what we hear is "I'm so rone-ry"). However this all plays as a backdrop to the real drama: the men and women who make up Team America.

Without mentioning the US Government or the White House or any elected official, it would seem that the job of policing the world has fallen on the sturdy shoulders of Team America, a composite of the action-bash 'em up-movie stereotypes: the handsome but dumb jock, the "empath" whose abilities are questionable at best, the tough guy who likes to curse a lot but whose past hides a dark and shameful secret, and the perky blonde who suffered tragic loss in the first few minutes of the film. They are joined by Gary Johnston, a Broadway actor currently appearing in "Lease" the Matt and Trey version of "Rent" which has a showstopping number, "everyone Has AIDS". Because of his astounding acting talent, Gary is recruited by Spottswoode, the Team America leader and resident boozehound. Apparently to police the world and stop terrorists, you can't do it without a really good actor.

The members of Team America are so focused on their mission, stopping terrorists who have WMD's, that they are willing to destroy anyone and anything that gets in their way. This includes such world monuments as the Eiffel Tower and the sphinx. Nothing gets in the way of stopping those terrorists. This is an obvious jab at the way America has sometimes destroyed civilian areas in their attempts to stop the bad guys. However, despite this visual commentary, one senses that Matt and Trey have a bit of respect for those that soldier on and try to stop the "evildoers" regardless of consequence. This is not to say that they wholeheartedly agree with those tactics, but they do seem to understand it a bit.

As a commentary on Hollywood's constant public outcries against the US invasion of Iraq and other military actions, this movie works to a point. It gets a bit repetitive towards the end, though redeems itself by playing a song "You're Useless Ben Affleck" over the rolling end credits. (Let it be noted that Kim Jong Il himself is the crooner of this ballad.) The movie works much better as a giant spoof of all the action adventure crash 'em bash 'em movies that have come out in the past 20 years or so: the gigantic explosion, the heightened movie tension music, and the over-the-top melodramatic acting. One can imagine someone uttering the line "I cherish your friendship" while sitting in a torture chamber being the emotional highlight of a Michael Bay flick. "Team America" has all the requisite action movie cliches but the common sense (and common decency) not to take itself remotely seriously.

Though "Team America" lacks the biting and more focused social criticism found in the South Park movie, it still does its job of knocking the wind out of self-importance in Hollywood, in both actors and scripts. Rumor has it that Matt and Trey originally intended to do a version of "The Day After Tomorrow" with puppets, keeping the same script which they deemed funny enough on its own. Of course there were studio issues with that plan, so they scrapped it and "Team America" was born. As much as I'd want to see puppets trying to outrun cold air, there is something to be said about a movie that indulges in puppet kung fu, puppets singing torchsongs, and puppet vomiting. It may not be South Park, but it sure is funny.

Friday, October 15, 2004

What a Difference 18 Years Makes

Recently I was back in NY for a few days, there to see friends and just reconnect with the one city I truly consider home.

Venturing out of the Upper Westside enclave that I lived in for so long, I spent a day wandering around Greenwich Village. Though I've lived in LA for a good portion of my life, the fact that I grew up in the Village has always bolster the fact that consider myself a New Yorker. I spent the first 11 years of my life on the corner of E. 10th Street and University Place, a few blocks away from Washington Square Park in one direction and Union Square Park in the other. Of course in those days both of those parks were havens for druggies and other assorted unsavory characters. But that was where I played, amongst the rejected drug paraphenalia and occasional spots of grass.

Now that entire area is different. I left right when the Yuppies had started to take hold on the East Village, and apparently though there might not be as many of them left now, the gentrification is still evident. NYU seems to have taken a stronger grip on its environs and places that had been publicly owned are now under the University auspices. New dorms have sprouted where there used to be run down apartment buildings and most glaringly, the local movie theater is now part and parcel of the NYU Film and Theater program. But the changes go even deeper than that. The corner Greek coffee shop where I always had my happy birthday grilled cheese and chocolate milk is now a trendy Thai restaurant. The paper and stationery store is now a bodedga. The fish store, whose owner sadly died of a heart attack in the airport just a few weeks after he won the Lottery, is now Le Petite Coquette, an insanely expensive lingerie boutique. And these are just the changes on my block! The entire neighborhood has a new aura, shiny and slick but I can still see the lovely grime that was there in the early 80's.

I'm constantly told you can't go back again, and while in theory this holds true, I was still able to envision the Village of my youth. The Duane Reade on Broadway and 9th is still the Woolworth's and to me, Forbidden Planet was still on the corner of 10th and Broadway. I remembered learning to ride my bike on University Place and can see myself almost running over every pedestrian in my way. I walked by my old apartment building and though the doormen I knew were no longer working there, I saw Victor and Benny opening the dark wooden doors so I could enter after school. Though I'm now 28, I saw my old neighborhood through the eyes of the child I had been, savoring the occasional visual dissonance with what is actually there. I saw the buildings as tall as they were when I was 10 and even though all of these sights were just in my head, I felt as though I had come home and it felt just right.

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Matt & Trey vs Sean Penn, Et Al

By this point we've all read the memo Sean Penn wrote to Matt Stone and Trey Parker, the creators of South Park and such characters as Big Gay Al, Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo, and Eric Cartman, the foulest little child since Shirley Temple.

Penn trying to maintain his street cred, states that he has no problem when Matt and Trey made fun of him. Of course he slyly comments that they did so in order to appear "likeable" to their desired demographic. Though I do not profess to know Matt or Trey, after years of watching their work and following their careers, I do not believe for one second that they make fun of ANYONE to appear likeable. These two "young guys", as Penn labels them, don't give a crap about being liked. No one would do what they do in an attempt to garner love and affection. That aside, Penn tries very hard to come across as someone who appreciates a good joke, even at his own expense.

However, his issue with Matt and Trey is their recent Rolling Stone interview in which they bluntly say that if you don't know anything, then don't feel pressured to vote. Mr. Penn apparently feels that by not stating that anyone who isn't informed should go and put their head in the sand out of shame and embarrassment, Matt and Trey are against people informing themselves. On some level, yes, maybe they should be encouraging education as a solution to voter abstinence, but then again is that their job? Since they are out to skewer actors who make it their point to "educate" the public, why would they do that very same thing themselves? Of course it is Penn's right to call them out on this just as it is their right to make the statement to begin with...cuz we all love America and its Freedom.

My biggest contention with Mr. Penn's letter is his sign off, "All best, and a sincere fuck you". Any and all seriousness I might have given his letter went right out the window with that.

One also has to laugh derisively at Penn's offer to be the tour guide of war-torn areas. Apparently being an actor with the ability to memorize words and having visited these areas once or twice, makes him an expert. It's infuriating. Besides, does he honestly think that Matt & Trey think war is not to be taken seriously? I refer Penn to Mel Brooks's treatment of Hitler and the Spanish Inquisition for a lesson in comedy about serious matters. You can laugh at something and still believe it is not a joke.

Again, just because it is one's right to vote and so-called "civic duty" to do so, don't mean its the always the right thing to do. Encouraging the ill-informed and ignorant to go to the voting booths and make a decision which will effect everyone is far more dangerous and wrong than telling those very same people not to vote.


Tuesday, October 05, 2004

A Few Thoughts About Voting

After watching the debates and having listened to the stump speeches, press conferences, and pundit opinions for the past several months, I came to a very sad conclusion: I cannot vote for either Kerry or Bush and be totally happy with myself.

I have too many issues with the way Bush and his administration have run things since they took office. I'm not going to quote any Michael Moore propaganda, but I just feel like they haven't been totally straight with me and as much as I don't feel I need my government to have total disclosure at all times, there has been too much that I feel has not been above board with Bush and his cronies.

However, I have no clue who Kerry is. I've been trying to figure this out since the Democratic primaries and still have no answer. After primary debates, conventions, and one presidential debate, I feel like I should have some clue as to who Kerry is, what he stands for, and what he plans to do with this country. And yet...

On occasion, I consider myself to be fairly bright. If I am having such problems, I shudder to think what the average American thinks. You know, those people who can't be bothered to really read anything (or who have no time) and rely on the soundbites the news feels fit to give them. How is anyone supposed to make an educated voting decision in November? Should we just close our eyes and do an eeny-meeny-miney-mo?

Someone I know is advocating not voting. Not for himself but for everyone else. As much as I'd love to believe that is the answer, part of me still feels that voting is a civic duty...or at least something you should do if you want to complain about things. But do I want the uneducated and the occasionally stupid to vote just because they want to be able to complain later?

I'm just not sure there is an answer to any of this...either way that first Tuesday in November won't do much to cheer me up.
Perhaps I'll just drink heavily.

Monday, October 04, 2004

Some Thoughts on the "Debate"
I managed to catch the first presidential debate at the gym--watching half of it on the TV from the treadmill and listening to half it on the weight machines.
I thought that maybe I'd get a different opinion after watching it and only listening to it.
I thought wrong.

At this point we all know that Kerry was declared the winner and Bush was declared incapable of keeping a civil look on his face. Despite all thoughts to the contrary Bush, the man who had been touted as never having lost a debate in his life, lost. And the Kerry camp rejoiced.

Problem is, what does that mean?

This is not the only debate, there are 2 more, lest the Democrats start thinking of ways to change the White House decor. Issues of domestic policy have not even been touched.
Then again, neither have issues of foreign policy, though, have they?

Last week's debate was full of sound and fury signifying nothing. Overall the two candidates differed on only a few points, the biggest of which being bilateral talks with North Korea. I hardly imagine that an undecided voter will make up their minds on North Korea. Kerry did the best he could to shed the "flip-flopper" image the Bush camp has branded on his forehead. Bush did his best to make a coherent point that didn't seem to come from a photocopied list handed to him right before the debate.

With all of the rule imposed on this debate, it really wasn't a debate at all. How can you have a debate when the people involved are not allowed to address each other? Why was the Bush camp so afraid of this? Did they think that by talking to Bush directly, Kerry could use some of his voodoo magic? Even more ridiculous was the 10 foot distance between the candidate's podiums. Perhaps Al Gore's wanderings during the debates in 2000 made Bush feel the need to control his personal space and have a discussion with the Dems about boundaries. All the restrictions and time limits sucked any and all spontaneity out of the event. Overall, the 90 minutes felt like I was listening to 2 people giving stump speeches and they just happened to be in the same room.

Sunday, October 03, 2004

Missing the Point

For some reason, there is a movement amongst Daily Show viewers to get Jon Stewart to endorse a candidate. This movement is so strong there is even a website with an open letter to Jon as well as the "signatures" of over a thousand TDS viewers. Now, the open letter never actually states which candidate Jon should endorse. But most people guess, and probably rightly, that if Jon were to endorse someone, it would be Kerry. Though not because Jon Stewart seems to have some sort of big giant respect and love for Kerry, but he seems to just really not want another 4 years of the Bush Administration.

The problem with all this is that endorsing a candidate is totally antithetical to the role Jon Stewart is able to play in the media. He is sort of like the Shakespearean court jester: the clown who makes the insightful and pointed commentary on everything that goes on around him. Though his preference isn't hidden, it has never been stated. Once he states it and openly endorses one candidate or the other he loses his status as court jester and becomes a member of the court. Being a member of the court, he loses all the rights and privledges that came with being the one person who could tell the truth and get away with it. The Daily Show is a COMEDY SHOW not a news show. YES, it does comment on the news and it does deal mainly with politics but it is not news. As soon as the writers, the correspondents, or the anchor choose partisan sides, all bets are off.

So while I understand the desire for someone you admire and find credible to come out so to speak, by wanting Jon to say "Vote for Kerry", you are asking to put an end to the very reasons you admire that person to begin with. Also, people, make up your own goddamned minds! You don't need someone on TV to tell you what to think. Or maybe you do, and we're in a whole bigger heap of trouble.