Sunday, November 12, 2006

Does it fit under a bed?

I've noticed something remarkable about infomercials.
First is the fact that they all make the product they are selling sound AMAZING - even if they are just selling Tupperware. I can't tell you how many times I've had to stop myself from shelling out the cash for the Magic Bullet or that nifty machine that will vacuum pack everything from cheese to my socks.
Second, every person who is not shilling for the product is a bonafide idiot. They can barely be expected to tie their shoes from the way they come off on the infomercials. For example, the new locking Tupperware product makes it seem that we are incapable of putting the containers together with their lids unless they were magically made to interlock. The same way unless we use the special new non-stick pans that will cost us only 4 easy payments of $19.99, we will not be able to scramble eggs without them sticking to our standard pans like superglue.
However my favorite is the new pasta boiler. Who knew that without this brand new invention, we'd be stuck using a pot and a collander just like cavemen?! All the women in the commercial seem downright flustered by these antiquated cooking devices - won't someone show the way to a new and better life?? So we get a plastic cylinder which can hold the pasta and then once you pour boiling water in, cook it as well. Sure this sounds like a nifty device and it might very well be, however no one is so incompetant that they can't figure out how to cook pasta the way Italians have for many a year.
None of this stops me from watching them, mind you, but there must be a better way of selling us useless items...right?

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Now Brit-Brit and K-Fed??

The magical couple that no one ever imagined would split, are doing just that.
Britney Spears, she of the 24 hours first marriage, multi-foot boa and shoeless gas station bathroom attendance has decided to divorce her husband, Popozao aka Kevin Federline.

Part of me is too upset to talk about it.

The other parts are just laughing their asses off.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Jegshamesh

For a change my faith in the American movie going public has been strengthened rather than dashed like so many china plates during a violent divorce.
This weekend 2 "big" movies opened, Santa Clause 3 and Borat.
Prior to this weekend, 20th Century Fox decided to pull Borat from around 1200 theatres because they thought that Middle America couldn't handle the subject matter -- too risque and/or advanced for them.
And at the same time, most projections for the weekend were that Santa Clause 3 would be the top earner.
Oh joy, rehashed tripe on its third time around would kick the ass of a movie full of questionable taste but a scathing expose on the bigotry and social deception that we try to desperately to hide.
However, all projections were wrong.
This morning the Santa Clause 3 was said to have earned $20 million versus Borat's resounding $26.4 million. And remember, this with only 800 theatres nationwide.

Take that movie studios who underestimate the intelligence and wit of those who shell out hard earned cash to see their films.