Sunday, August 16, 2009

It Just Gets Harder

It has been three weeks since my mom passed away.
And it just keeps getting worse, getting more difficult.
I think of a thousand things a day I wish I could tell her; stupid things, little things. How people are at work. The horrible, horrible heat. An Op-Ed in the New York Times. What I had for dinner.
All the things we would talk about everyday. The things that make up your life.
I want to -- and I can't.
I have never felt more alone in my life. I always had my mom on my side and I knew that even when we weren't together, there was someone in the world who loved me. Now, I just don't feel the same way. I know my siblings love me and I love them, but it's not the same. No one loves you so freely or so deeply as your mother. And mine is gone.

Does this ever get easier?

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