PSS

Last night I was out and about and it was BRUTALLY hot. I was convinced that I was sweating so badly that it was going to drip in my eyes...sexy, no?
But - lo, there was nothing there. Not a drop. I decided that I am suffering from a new disease, PSS or Phantom Sweat Syndrome.
As such, I have written my own commercial for Swealtex, a new medication that I believe will revolutionize the way people deal with PSS. (I mean hey, if they can talk about Restless Leg Syndrome, I can have my Phantom Sweat Syndrome...)
Here you go:
Do you find yourself feeling sweaty but there's nothing there?
Do you wake up at night to wipe your brow but find it bone dry?
Are there times when you know a bead of sweat is going to mess up your mascara, and yet, your makeup remains perfect?
If the answer to any of these questions is 'yes' you might be suffering from Phantom Sweat Syndrome.
Swealtex is a new drug to help with the symptoms of PSS. Side effects may include enlarged tongue, baldness, or instant lycanthropy. Women who may be pregnant or nursing should not be in the same room with Swealtex. Men who might come in contact with children should also avoid open bottles of Swealtex. If you take Swealtex and are still feeling the PSS, get yourself to the emergency room immediately.
Talk to your doctor and see if Swealtex is for you.
No one needs to live in fear of the next PSS attack.