Sorta Pathetic

Yesterday I was chatting online with a friend that I've known for the past 10 years. Granted, we've never been particularly close, but we've always maintained a peripheral friendship.

She mentioned how her birthday is this Sunday, on Tisha B'av - probably the second worst day to have a birthday (Yom Kippur being the first). But her boyfriend is taking her out tonight, so she says she'll deal.

Then she wrote "Isn't your birthday coming up too?"

And it took me a minute to think about that.

And then I realized that she was right; in less than a month I turn 29. And it has all but slipped my mind.

As opposed to other years when I've felt the need to be around friends on my happy natal day, this year I have no plans. Last year I planned a big dinner that, while nice, was fraught with many problems and overall my birthday ended with the feeling of a giant let down.

This year, I won't be anywhere near any friends, save one - the only friend that I have in LA. I do not expect to hear from any of my "friends", as this year I am choosing not to remind anyone and I have no expectation that anyone will remember on their own. At this point, I'm hoping my mother remembers.

Perhaps if I ignore it and prevent myself from the ultimate let down that always is September 8th, maybe my 30th year will start on a better note and won't have the air of disappointment hanging over it.

Hey, it's worth a try.