Open Letter to a Fellow Audience Member

Dear Girl Who Sat Behind Me Saturday Night at the Lewis Black show at the Wiltern in LA:

After spending well over $50 to see one of my favorite comedians, I settled into my chair in the Loge section of the Wiltern theatre in LA, ready to laugh my ass off at Lewis Black's antic ravings. I was prepared for the rest of the audience to laugh as well, perhaps hoot and holler and cheer, but overall I expected that I would be able to enjoy my evening.

I was not prepared for you.

Not only did you and what I can only assume was your boyfriend insist on making out very loudly before the show and during intermission, but you insisted on braying like a donkey at everything. Usually I don't critize people's laughs. Hell, I can be loud myself if I find something that particularly tickles my funny bone. However, the noises that came out of your mouth were unacceptable.

When the warm-up guy, whose name eludes me, came on, you laughed as though you had not heard a truly funny joke in a solid year. Now, I can't say that just because I thought the guy was insanely unfunny that you should agree with me. But even if you thought he was amusing, there was no call for the cackling I heard coming from behind my seat.

However, the true insult was during Lewis's set. Your laugh was so obnoxious and so grating, that I began to dread Mr. Black's jokes. I began to fear that he would make one of his witty and angry observations and you would laugh so loudly that the ceiling would crumble like the walls of Jericho. I had to hold my ears several times during the night just to drown you out and I still managed to get a headache.

Far be it from me to say that you should not have enjoyed the performance. But perhaps you should have thought that other people wanted to enjoy the performance as well and if you laugh like a hyena on nitrous oxide, you might be preventing them from doing just that.

Please take this under consideration should you decide to go out in public again.

Thank you.

PS: This is for your boyfriend-
My God man! Don't you have ears or have you gone deaf from listening to her? Would it kill you to ask her to shut up so maybe the people around her could have a good time and not have her abusive laughter ringing in their ears? I am sure you love her, but for her sake, tell her to rein it in.