The Real Phantom of the Opera

Despite many many reviews urging me to stay away, far away, due to rain and a need to sit and dry my feet, I saw "The Phantom of the Opera". I should have listened to all those reviews.

It was only a matter of time before the uber-successful stage show was turned into a movie. With the success of "Moulin Rouge" and "Chicago", musicals are no longer considered taboo in Hollywood. However, unlike "Moulin Rouge" and "Chicago" the source material for Phantom is crap. Utter and complete garbage. The flimsiest of stories paired with the most bombastic, with a serious helping of ridiculous melodrama does not equal good movie. It barely equaled good show.

A major part of the problem that no one seemed to have realized is that what works on stage does not really work on the big screen. Exaggerated and overblown emotions can create a sense of immediacy in a live performance. Not always, of course, but there are occasions where loud and overenthusiastic music makes a point in a musical. But when all this is splashed on the screen, without the orchestra or the distance from the stage to the seat, it can seem garish and silly. And this is what happened with Phantom.

All this aside, the movie could be have serviceable. Alas.

Emmy Rossum played Christine, the ingenue who has been taught by the Phantom and is the object of his creepy affections. She sang the role and has quite a lovely voice. However, she needs some serious acting lessons. She spent the entire 3 hours in a trance, barely moving her lips let alone emoting. The only reason I knew she was the one singing was because I'd heard about it before seeing the movie. Gerard Butler played the dangerous and mysterious Phantom. The fact that his Phantom was only minorly deformed wasn't his fault. The fact that his Phantom could barely sing, was. The role, made famous by Michael Crawford, is full of angry and pained arias that require a bit vocal dexterity. Unfortunately Mr. Butler needed a lot more limbering up to perform the role properly. Patrick Wilson played Raoul, the non-deformed man after Christine's love. Most recently Mr. Wilson was in "Angels in America" and his character's lack of personality was a plus. In Phantom the fact that this Raoul has no personality is a major detraction. The only amusing character was Minnie Driver's Carlotta, the coloratura diva who Christine replaced in the opera company. She was amusingly over the top and it was no matter that she didn't do her own singing. She provided a few well needed laughs.

It was a beautiful movie. The colors, the sets, the costumes were all breathtaking. However, none of that could stop me from realizing what a disaster the rest of the movie was. Directed by Joel Schumacher, the auteur who brought us the mindnumbingly awful "Batman and Robin", one might say this Phantom never had a chance. Starting with Sir Lloyd Weber's material, Scorsese could have directed the movie and it would have never had a chance.

I suggest everyone else do what I didn't and stay far far away.