My Christmas Miracle

Since I'm Jewish I really didn't get a Christmas miracle...though I did pray for one.

What I wanted for Christmas was so small, so simple you'd think it wouldn't even be a special request at all. I wanted a slice of pizza. A good slice, not crap you'd get from Domino's or Pizza Hut. The good thin crust pizza with just the right amount of sauce and cheese and crunch. No toppings required, though maybe I'd put on a bit of oregano and a dash of hot red pepper flakes.
A simple slice of pizza on a cold Los Angeles night.

However, little did I know this would be impossible to find on December 25th.

My friend and I set out at 7 pm. We had the food we wanted in mind, a rarity since we usually don't figure that until we've been driving around for a half hour. But last night we knew we wanted pizza. We even knew our destination - a tiny pizza shop on 3rd street. We'd been there before and they'd made really good pizza. But as we drove by, it became apparent that they were closed. We quickly thought of another pizza place that we liked, sure it was a bit of a drive, but who wants to settle for tasteless doughy pizza? We drove out to Century City and navigated the many roadblocks that the city had decided to put up. They were widening the lanes and all but one lane in each direction was closed off. After a series of right turns we found ourselves in front of the restaurant, but alas they were closed as well. Was there no where that would serve us? We thought that maybe Westwood, the college area of LA, should definitely have someplace open. College kids like pizza, right? Now in retrospect I realize that all those hungry college kids must be home, negating the necessity of an open pizza parlor in Westwood. Frantically we tried to think of other popular places in LA, places with a lot of pedestrian traffic (meaning more than 5 people walk by an hour). Santa Monica! And the Promenade! Surely a place that was built to be walked upon will have people and those people will want to eat, and everyone loves pizza! However, I'm sure you've guessed that no one was on the Promenade, or at least not enough people to warrant any open restaurants.

We drove up and down small side streets, looking for bistros, cafes, at this point any sort of food would do. It was an hour and a half into our journey and we had not come across one open restaurant, only Coffee Bean and Tea Leafs who were relishing the crowds they got on a night when Starbucks remained closed. But I wanted more than a latte and a muffin. We drove around for another 30 minutes before deciding we might as well try Jerry's. Jerry's is the only place in LA that is open 24 hours a day. At 1o pm when you want a quick bite or maybe just some chicken soup, Jerry's is the only place open and willing to oblige. Surely they would be serving. And they were. They were the only restaurant open in Los Angeles on Christmas Night. And everyone knew it. The line was out the door and almost around the corner. Couples, families, groups of friends all huddled together for warmth to wait out the "fifteen to twenty minutes" we were told we'd have to wait. Of course it turned into a half hour but we were determined.

Finally we were seated at a booth. On one side a couple with a young child, on the other a bunch of rowdy teenagers. I didn't care, I was starving. I opened the multipaneled menu. They serve everything at Jerry's: Mexican, Italian, deli. You can get waffles at midnight on a Tuesday if you so wish. I scanned the menu and found the section marked "PIZZA". I looked carefully over the topping choices, maybe I did want toppings after all. Was I in a pineapple or an eggplant mood? The waitress made her way over to the booth. My friend ordered his usual veggie burger and I wasn't' surprised. He wasn't the one who really wanted pizza anyway. Finally, after 2 hours of driving and waiting, I got my turn to order. Suddenly the fatigue of the search hit me and the last thing I wanted was a slice of pizza. I turned the waitress and said "I'll have a diet coke with lemon..." I paused, making a split second decision. "And anything to eat?" "Yes. I'll have a cheeseburger." She nodded, took our menus and walked away. My friend looked at me and said "But I thought you wanted pizza?" I replied "After all that, pizza is the last thing I could eat right now."

The cheeseburger was good, but I wouldn't say it hit the spot.

I'm ready for next Saturday night. It won't be Christmas and I'll be in New York, the City of Pizza. Maybe there they'll have something open...