Too Bad Paris Isn't Burning

Where Paris Hilton is concerned, I've always wished the phrase "if you ignore it, it will go away" would apply. But woe and alas, it's never that easy.

Or perhaps it might be that easy if people could learn to ignore her. But again...woe and alas.

She burst onto the scene by appearing in the now infamous "One Night in Paris", the nightvision sex romp that thankfully I have never seen. However, enough people did to elevate this rich party girl to celebrity. This newfound status paired with her already trashy reputation made her a media darling.

Her crappy reality series "The Simple Life" highlighted just how useless she really is. Pitted against hardworking Americans who have to work for a living, Paris and her then best friend Nicole Ritchie (daughter of Lionel "Hello" Ritchie) had to make their way without their credit cards or cell phone. By traveling around the country and mocking those less fortunate than herself, you'd think that everyone would realize that she is just a stupid spoiled whore. But now. She got several season out of Fox, repeating her idiot catchphrase "That's hot" while ruining the lives of everyone she met.

Thankfully, Matt and Trey of South Park fame saw opportunity in Ms. Hilton that apparently no one else did. They set an entire episode around her appearance in South Park to open a new branch of her store for girls "Stupid Spoiled Whore", a store where tweens can purchase clothes and paraphenalia that will make them look, smell and essentially act like Paris Hilton. Throughout the episode one girl, not caught by the lure of thongs and drug induced sexual encounters, kept shouting in disbelief "But what does she do?" Never is that question answered. Needless to say, the show ends with Paris being vastly out-whored by a gay man in leather and studs. A fitting end.

Now Paris is back in the news due to a Carl's Jr. commercial featuring her in a scanty black bathing suit, washing a car and eating some new burger concoction feature fried jalapenos. At the end of the commercial after Paris has sufficiently embarrassed herself, the car and the burger, the screen flashes the words "That's hot". Brilliant. With all the Christian Right groups now complaining about this commercial being aired on regular network television, it would seem Paris is once again involved in some sort of public sex scandal and back in the headlines once more.

I'm guessing the attention whore will never go away, whether or not we ignore her.

Sigh.