De-Lovely Is Anything But

In "De-Lovely", the latest Cole Porter biopic, Kevin Kline and Ashley Judd age gracefully through time as the strains of Porter's music are heard playing subtlety in the background. Unfortunately that is the only graceful or subtle thing about this movie.

An earlier picture based on Porter's life, "Night and Day", had Cary Grant playing the renowned bisexual party boy, but the movie glossed over the more prurient and lascivious details of Porter"s life, never going so far as suggesting that maybe he liked boys more than girls. "De-Lovely" was billed as the movie to correct that misconception, with Kline kissing members of both sexes. However what ended up on the screen was a lifeless as "Night and Day" was sexless.

More problematic than anything else was the frame story, a contrivance that puts any other movie contrivance to shame. Jonathan Pryce shows up at Cole Porter's apartment late one night, as the old composer is tinkering on his piano. Turns out Pryce's character is directing a musical based on Porter's life and he wants Porter around during "rehearsals" to verify authenticity. Of course Pryce really isn't a director and the musical really isn't being made. It's a sort of "Our Town" look-back at Porter's life in musical theater form. This overarching plot machination loses its appeal as soon as it's introduced. By the end of the movie when the entire cast is brought back out for the finale, it is just preposterous.

We are treated to a whirlwind account of Porter's first meeting with Linda (Judd), the divorcee who would become his wife and muse. Their early romance was light, airy, and terribly boring. Even Porter's self-outing to Linda was an understated bore. Their marriage is portrayed as one of sexual convenience -- with Porter preferring men and Linda preferring no one -- and though there seems to be a deep and abiding friendship full of mutual respect, the lack of chemistry between Judd and Kline completely de-romanticizes any aspect of their relationship.

As Linda and Cole's marriage progresses and as Cole's career escalates, the audience is treated to today's pop stars performing Porter's witty music. Alanis Morrisette, Sheryl Crow and Elvis Costello do their best to bring Porter's music to the modern listening public, but the numbers lack zest. Though their voices are sufficient for the material, the productions are too lifeless to make that matter. Going one step further, the poorly crafted script has various characters tossing around lines that quote the titles of Porter's songs, creating a new movie-going experience: the anticipation to cringe. A grinning Porter would wink at an Adonis and slyly remark "Let's misbehave". This happened to frequently to be believed or tolerated.

Kline is a fine actor and did his best with the material at hand. He handles Porter's devastating accident without resorting to melodrama and does his best to retain his own dignity throughout the film. However Judd's portrayal of Linda was only adequate and she was constantly overshadowed by her beautiful costumes. Supporting characters come and go and never make much of an impact.

It is a shame that a life as rich and full of scandal and excitement as Porter's is served by such a weak film. In the sway of showing Cole Porter as the sexually active man he was, the movie's producers forgot to make him interesting. Perhaps in 50 years we'll be treated to a biopic that remembers to do that.